maandag 21 januari 2008

After the Fall

After the fall my mind is eager to do everything like I used to do. I started working again today and it went rather ok. My collegues were nice and some people thought that I became Hindu or something, considering the fact that there's still a wound on my forehead/third eye. How funny, when you think of that! But I miss my daily life without pain... my yoga, dancing, my running with my collegues once a week... But it hurts, every cough, or stretch. So I must take things slow, and stay in the Now, and not be afraid of gaining kilos and especially not feel the fear when 'm biking which I did yesterday for the first time again. Sometimes I feel the Fall again, the pain and fear go straight through my teeth and I immediately feel the Bang and the panic, the cold and loneliness again.

To be realistic: I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but the impact is great. On the other hand, it's all about wounds that will heal, (except for the scars that hopefully will dissappear in time) so I'm still so grateful of not being internally wounded and alive. And I realise and see people around me who are incurably ill, and I truely have respect for those who live their live as good as they can, never give up and dealing with their illnesses every single day.

I ordered some CD's of Gabrielle Roth, (Dance your life/ the four rythms) and I'm looking forward to them, to try to dance on them... It will be a present for me- to heal and to move on on my path. I think it will be the most important gift to myself since a long time and I'm happy with that!
Thank you Universe, for my life, the loving people around me and for being me.

2 opmerkingen:

Eye! zei

Heavy .. but healing, I hope!?

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