Step

Yesterday I went to a meeting where there was a guest speaker who invited us to look behind the I, Ego, to find out where we come from/ who we are. Before I went I had a frustrating working day and I was pretty tensed as I didn't know what to expect of such an evening. But I went. The man who invited me, a special man who reads toes and does cranio sacral treatments, picked me up afer I took the bus and when we arrived at his house, the other people came and the guest speaker who I met once in september was also there. There was a friendly atmosphere with all kinds of nice people, 10, young and old.

The evening was an interaction, like a Satsang, but with no agenda or intention to persuade or convince others. He just sat there in the living room talking about the Self, answering questions, who we really are and that in the space between two seconds you could experience he source of who you are, we all are. Nothing, or something indescribable. In fact it doesn't matter, nothing matters, when you are connected to that source. It's like the sun, who aways shines, without purpose, striving, endlessly, even if you close the curtains.
He was able to see through or connect by looking into your eyes.
I felt such a peace coming over me, colors changed in the living room, and sometimes I had a smile which came from my toes. I don't think I experienced the feeling between the two seconds- I think I have too much (un)consious resistence- but I could understand well what he must have meant by it. And by writing that I understood, it doesn't make sence because the the mind is working at that point. To experience the sensation, the source, you don't need/ have a state of mind.. I can hardly describe what has been said those hours, I just felt peace and somewhat carried. I started to understand that all my actions were Ego-labelled and that my pure Self needed nothing, but just being. No work, no longing, no motivation.. A confrontation also, but not a harsh one. It's love that counts, a love that is there without any intention.
The people were interested in the material but some were sceptic, but all was ok.

Back to 'normal life' at home (late), I felt fulfilled and more quiet than a long time..
Speaking of letting it flow...
I am so glad I went there,that I took the step to go beyond my fears. It was special, although I realise also more than ever I have a long way to go.

Thank you for reading.
May you all be well!